Eddie James-You've been so faithful

She picked up her phone and put it back down. Walked away. Came back picked up again. She tapped the icon for the deny and reject feature. Scrolling through the 6 numbers on her list she paused on his number. "I miss him", she said aloud to herself. She exited that screen and hit the phone icon. She scrolled her call log. Nothing from him. Checked her texts, nothing. She knew she had him blocked and probably had made it so his attempts at contact wouldn't even show up. Yet she tormented herself anyway. She really wanted to talk to him. She knew she couldn't though. The pain in her heart wasn't worth hearing his voice. Pray, she thought. She threw the phone down on the bed and began sobbing. She imagined she was on this room alone with her King. Like a small child sobbing in her father's neck when she can't have that toy, she cried. She sobbed. She wailed in His neck.  "God, I'm sorry. I know. I'm doing this. It's nut fault. I know. Oh God I need you. I can't. I don't know if i have the strength to let go. Lord i know. I know. I heard you. But Lord." The years just kept coming. Even when she had no words she know 3 that He heard and understood. She lay there on the bed, spent. Exhausted mentally and emotionally. Still crying softly, she felt secure nestled in the safety of her Father's bosom.